Secret Of Doing Favors For People

HE RALSTON PUBLISHING CO. CORRESPONDENCE COURSE In THE SECRET OF DOING FAVORS FOR PEOPLE By J. Martin Kohe, Author of « YOUR GREATEST POWER » Copyright 1953 1. Have you often wondered why it is, that the more you do for some people, the worse it is? And too, haven’t you found that after you have done a number of favors for people, these same people will disappoint and disrespect you? Is this appreciation –is it any wonder that people who start out in life. willing to help and be of service to others, before long, become cold and hard toward the rest of the world? How many countless thousands have died of broken hearts because of the serious setbacks and disappointments that have come to them? Why? What is the reason? 2. Even the Greatest have been placed upon the cross. Men, who have given their lives, so that humanity might progress, have been killed by the very ones they were trying to help. What then, should one do when he feels the inner eager desire to do for others, regardless of what the outcome or personal self-injury may be? Should he give up his desire to do good? Should he keep his talents to himself? Should he refuse to be of service unless he is properly compensated? These are the questions that come to every man or woman \\oho is in the work of serving humanity? 3. People in private life as well, are often disappointed after they have helped out so called « best friends. » Men, who have given their best to their wives, find themselves outcasts as soon as their earning capacities fail the household. Fathers and mothers who have laid down their lives for their children, find themselves alone and un-cared for. when their children grow up and have families of their own. It is hard to under-stand just why this should be, It would seem that something is wrong with the world and the people in it. Is there? Is it all worth-while or not? Let us see! Let us examine some of the cases that we have been in contact with from time to time. Courtesy the Napoleon Hill Foundation |
Some people have the idea that you gain the respect of the other person by what you do for him. This of cours depends upon the person with whom you are deal-ing, and very often does not hold true. We cite for example, the following case, which is only one of a million or so others just like it. A young lady is keeping company with a young man, and they have become very good friends. They have enjoyed many things in common and have spent the most pleasant time together. The young man has had plenty of experiences with the opposite sex. The young lady has confined he … self to the friend-ship of a few young men. The young man wants all of her time and attention, and they quarrel every time that she goes out with another man. He starts to make certain advan-ces and one evening they become very much in love with each other. The young man, experienced in the art of making love, tells her that if she really loves him, she will not hesitate to give herself to him. The young lady foolishly thinking that this is the one way that she can be sure of keeping his love, agrees. She feels that by granting this great favor to her loved one, she will be sure of his love for all time. The inevitable happens –they leave each other for the evening, the young man telling her what a « real girl » she is. She is thrilled with the thought that she has made her loved one so happy. 5. A few days pass, and she does not hear from him. The weeks pass into months and still he makes no attempt to see her. She asks herself, ‘why?’ Did she not do as he had asked? Did she not grant the favor that he said would make them sweethearts forever? But she never hears from him again, and she is heartsick with the thought of it all. If this young landy is a weakling, she may never get over this affair. If she is strong-minded, she may manage to pull herself together and make a new start in life. If she be-comes thoroughly disgusted with herself, she may follow the line of least resistance. she may reach the conclusion that there is no good in life, and because of this wrong thinking, a whole life may be wrecked. Why? BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS BY DO-ING FAVORS FOR PEOPLE THAT THEY LOVE AND RESPECT YOU. Like millions of others, she did not know the real truth. She was unaware that only too often, this is the way to lose certain « good friends. » Courtesy the Napoleon Hill Foundation |
6. The truth is –that no man who really loves and respects a girl will ask her to do such a thing. The very fact that he depended upon this act to make him love her, shows distinctly, that he does not respect her. In the case just mentioned, as in many others, IT ISN’T WHAT YOU DO THAT COUNTS SO MUCH, AS IT IS, WHAT YOU ARE. This young man had no respect for the girl in the first place and the girl did not have as much respect for herself as she thought she had. People do not like you for what you do for them –they like you for WHAT YOU ARE. They respect you, even if you do no favors for them and they will like you too. BUT IF THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOU, IF THEY CANNOT LOOK UP TO YOU, you can be constantly doing favors for them and it will only result in having them disrespect and disappoint you. 7. Here is the answer to the perplexing problem that faces every man, woman and child. We must learn to understand the Psychology of doing favors for people, or we shall become hardened toward life. If we fail to understand, we become cold toward others, we refuse to do favors for them and due to the fact that « We do not live unto ourselves alone,  » we find ourselves in such a state that we do not know which way to turn. In this treatise, we shall attempt to explain completely, what we mean by the « Psychology of Doing Favors For Others, » and after you have read it over several times, you will know exactly how to conduct yourself when faced with the problems of doing favors for others. 8. If you are a parent, let your children read these pages over. If you have a friend, who has become cold toward others because of favors done, and then had these same people disappoint him, either have him send for a copy, or let him read this one. Every young gi.rl should know about the forementioned incident and the psychology surround-ing it. If they did, we should find fewer broken hearts, fewer suicides, less prostitution and much more happiness among women, than is frequently found. 9. Another case that is quite common, especially since the newspapers seem to give it so much publicity, is that of the rich old man who marries the young pretty girl. He is close to sixty –she is twenty-two. He surrounds her with every luxury possible. Her wardrobe is larger than any girl could possibly dream of having. She is bedecked with Courtesy the Napoleon Hill Foundation |
Le succès n’attend pas. Au boulot !

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